Dearest Friends,
About five months ago, the unspeakable happened to me. While I spent my time at the hospital, only about five people knew about it- those who were closest to me. Apparently I didn’t make it clear enough that I didn’t want it getting out. Apparently I didn’t make it clear enough that I didn’t want my pain and suffering spread among the pages of everyone’s gossip column.
“Out of pure curiosity why is everyone pissed at me? Just curious before I erase your memory, but it takes two to tango you know, so why did you lie to people?” At that point in time, four months of healing and strength were washed away by tears.
So I just wanted you all to know- I’m not your martyr.
It takes a lot of strength to stand up and admit the worst has befallen you and now it’s time to move on. It doesn’t help to know that the people I knew and trusted are causing scenes in my home town while I’m away. You all realize- I have to come home some time right?
I left with only five people knowing exactly what had happened, I returned and practically everyone knew the entire detail of which I never spoke. Why is this? I’d like to know why suddenly since I’m gone it’s acceptable to talk about me behind my back. Because honestly-
It’s not.
I'm taking this as a personal attack- because I don't think it's fair for others to decide what is best for me. I think I know what I need more than anyone. I will not back down and cower under the weight of all this- but I don't need people adding more on. If you aren't helping you're hurting and I'm not going to allow it.
It's a bit late for apologies, and it's way too late to take it back, as everyone knows what happened. But I just wanted you all to know that I am officially hurt and I'm not going to forgive and forget. I've spent too long dealing with shit I didn't start- so right now I'm finishing it. So either shut the hell up or get the hell away from me- it's your choice.
Note that if this doesn’t apply to you then disregard it- don’t take it personally, I’m just sick of living in the shadow of something that should have died- five months ago.

So college is good. Osu (oregon state) is pretty amazing I won't lie. I love it here. Aha! I'm so glad I'm here. It was hard to get here mind you, but it's amazing.

Yesterday I got in at four thirty in the morning. It was dark and nothing was open. We walked around and they tried to get me into the Today show, but I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO and made a fuss till we left. We ended up doing some fun stuff yesterday, I went and walked around the city and looked at all the cool ads and huge buildings. Then we went to the M&M World store, it was stupid I advise you not to go there. We went to Central Park and walked through only a teeny bit of it, there were a lot of dogs running around without a leash. It was pretty nice to watch all these well trained dogs. We then went to the Grand Central Station and sorta people watched it was cool. We went to a shop that was a converted Gothic cathedral it was awesome. We walked around and tried to find a hotdog stand but there were a lot of these gross Halal food places. Wtf is halal food? o_o Anyway, we just pretty much ran about the city, today should be more interesting since it's not raining and is about 80 degrees

So I'm headed to New York and I'm going to party hardy there until the tenth or something like that. I'm so excited!! I'm going with my Aunt who's been there a few times so she's pretty familiar and that will make it even better! I'll keep you guys updated.

Well my other computer bit the dust, so I had to get a new one, I ended up getting a laptop of my own for the first time ever! I am so excited, Its really really nice and I love it so far. It has Vista on it which was a bit confusing at first but I am getting the hang of it. I haven't really gotten any pictures or my scanner working yet so I can't really do anything on here yet but look at everyone else's stuff.

xoxox-
Yames